Updated: Nov 4, 2021
The greater our understanding of emotions the greater our individual capacity to handle what life throws our way. This is what leads to our successes.
Did your emotional intelligence training have the impact the you desired? Is emotional intelligence accepted or required as the MO of communities in 2021? In some communities a start has been made and can be observed. Yet it's easy to find communities which have failed to assimilate human emotion with daily life. Weird imho, because I now know better.
I'll let you in on a secret (first time shared) about how becoming emotionally agile was the key to my best career successes. It worked across relationships, recognition and work satisfaction, but it took a long time, considerable effort and lots of undoing of my counterproductive habits.
Early in my career management expectations in banking were heavily skewed towards task completion. When it came time for me to lead younger gens in their unofficial professional development I struggled. I had long since abandoned my emotional smarts. Being strong on task completion was no longer enough.
As I navigated to something better I can say that the personal side of this was painful, I felt awful at times. Realising how far I'd moved from the caring person I am by nature was a huge blow. I was disappointed with my emotional performance and was regretful of past failings. I had let down others but mostly I'd let down myself.
If you're wondering what I did to remedy my emotional failings at work I offer you these ideas;
as with any change, the first step is the decision
it isn't just at work that we become task focused so there's opportunity to try better ways in the fertile, forgiving and more natural ground of our personal relationships
the key to unlocking our emotional intelligence into our communities is rediscovering our individual relationship to self, and that can be one amazing ride of vulnerability and power
the benefit of step 3 is the development of individual core strength or power which is always there for you
with practice of emotional enquiry comes emotional agility, the capacity to be adaptable in emotional situations
emotional agility provides the easiest pathway back to your core power when circumstances try to pull you off center.
When you find yourself struggling with some emotion, ask yourself these two questions and answer in sequence;
What is it doing to me?
What can I do about it?
You have the choice to act or not act on your answers. No action can be a valid decision for you. Either way you have increased your potential to find your way back to your core power.
In finishing, when you've decided to improve your emotional intelligence and your relationship to self there is no going back. External events and other people have less influence over you. Your wellbeing is now within your control. From this position you'll enjoy greater successes, both small and large.